Friday, April 29, 2005
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Sunday, April 17, 2005
OMG GRANNY!
Friday, April 15, 2005
DUH IT'S ME
This medical secretary at work is a real dumb ass. She needed to get a message to one of the docs, who was away on vacation, so she called him on his cell phone. She dials and he answered it right away and said, "It's me-it's me"
She hung up on him. So he calls back and says, "Why did you hang up on me?". She says, "I didn't hang up on you. I thought I dialed your number, but someone on the other end kept saying "itsmee itsmee". DUH!
She hung up on him. So he calls back and says, "Why did you hang up on me?". She says, "I didn't hang up on you. I thought I dialed your number, but someone on the other end kept saying "itsmee itsmee". DUH!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
THE LITERAL DUMB ASS
Another colleague is an argumentative flakey twit with no common sense. She doesn't know how to read between the lines. When the boss says something like turn off every printer and every terminal before you leave, she takes him seriously. What the fuck!? Every day someone works late (usually me) and we late folks usually have to use one or both of the printers. For instance I'll be running stats and I'll sit there for 5 minutes filling in information which I then need to print out, and when I open the door to the copy room to get my print out, the printer isn't on. I then have to go back to my desk and start over again and then walk back to the printer to get my print out. This is frustrating and she's a stupid bitch. We all know that when the last person leaves, is when we have to turn off everything. With her, everything once said to all of us by the boss, she takes as a personal request in which she is solely is responsible for. She's little Miss....."Well the boss said this and the boss said that" NO COMMON SENSE! She has to be so fucking literal. If the boss tells her to do something that isn't her job, she stresses out and cries and says, "I'm not sure I can do this right. "I'm like, "Pat! Give it to Linda, it's her job". "Oh, no, I have to do it. He said type out a disability letter and mail it to Mrs Krause". So I have to do it." Me->"He just means, it needs to get done. Haven't you ever heard of the word DELEGATE! He just wants it done by WHO EVER does it, you happened to be standing there when he realized it needed to get done and so he asked you." Her-> "Well, I don't know". ME->(Very aggrivated from all her whining and wanting to smack her)"Hey Dr White, if Mrs Krause calls you up bugging you about the disability letter, tell her to ask for Linda. We're giving it to her to type since she has the template for disability letters on her computer." Dr White->"Oh. O.K." Problem solved. Why so some people act like such intimidated, illogical, little children? Where do women get such traits? Did their dads beat them into these sort of weird, dutiful, flakey, nervous nerdy twats? Cause I gotta tell you, one of these days I'm gonna fucking snap. I already feel like smacking her upside her head. Sometimes I feel like a second grade teacher. I correct phone messages because they're such lazy asses and don't look up words in the dictionary. For instance, Mr Tran wants to know if he can go snorkalling on his vacation three weeks after surgery. Oh my God it's mind blowing cause there's at least one a day like this. I know because I see the carbon copies of the messages in the message book. My favorite is the sympathy card we all signed when someone lost their dad. Three of them wrote in the card, I'm sorry for your lose (and then signed their name) It scares me that people have no shame. They don't care if the bosses think they're a dumb ass. I look up a word even if it's spelled right, just because it looks weird. You know how sometimes you haven't written a word in so long it looks weird. I don't hate these people, but they just annoy me because they're too old to be acting like obstinate teenagers.
Monday, April 04, 2005
MY COLLEAGUE IS A SUPER FREAK
Glutton man is really a freak. He's really got a serious eating disorder. He steals peoples sandwiches from the office fridge. He's never been busted but I know it's him. We all do. I'm ready to do the ultimate now. I'm ready to plant a sandwich "for stealing" with laxative mixed in the mayo (the "Super Colon Blow" kind) or make a cat food sandwich. He is such a fucking moron and I think he deserves this. People put their names on their bags so there should be NO EXCUSE. I know he can get sick, but you know what? I CAN PUT WHAT EVER I WANT TO IN MY SANDWICH. After all it's MY SANDWICH. If he steals it and gets sick and bitches at me about it, I can rightly say, "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU EAT MY SANDWICH?" Any better ideas out there?
