Wednesday, September 27, 2006
IS THIS HOW ILLEGALS GET INTO COUNTRIES?
Sunday, September 10, 2006
My Colleague Is A BE-YOTCH!
I'm getting so sick of sarcastic obnoxious people. And too old for their shit as well. I simply ask a co-worker if another co-worker was in her area while I was on my way to look for her. And she says to me, "Do you see her?". Why the fuck do people have to be so unpleasant and answer you with another question? I hate fucktards like that. How the hell am I supposed to know if she is down the hall, or in someone's office or out of the department? I just wanna bitch slap this broad when she does this. She only does this to me and it's not like I ask stupid things. How is someone to know when someone in another area is gone for the day or stepped away? This particular person often is out of the department for 25 minutes a pop so you have to ask. If it's something that can wait I don't bother, but unfortunatly I need to know when I actually do ask.
Anyway, I get pissed off from this remark and mumble under my breath, "Oh honestly Ellie, you are so fucking obnoxious". No one but her heard this, so I didn't say it in front of anyone to embarrass her or shout it for that matter. Yet the next day at work she's giving me the silent treatment. So all I want to say right now is....FUCK YOU ELLIE!
I THINK HE CLOCKED HIMSELF
Saturday, September 09, 2006
WHAT THE HELL KINDA HYBRID CREATURE IS THIS???
Thursday, May 25, 2006
ATTA BOY DUKE
Friday, May 19, 2006
WTF? WHICH MILITARY ALLOWS THIS HAIR STYLE????
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Would You Be Seen In Public With This Person?
Friday, November 25, 2005
MY BIGGEST FEAR IN LIFE
ANOTHER STRANGE KID'S TOY
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Do You Find This Attractive?????
Sunday, November 06, 2005
KIDS ARE SO GROSS
Sunday, October 23, 2005
NEVER KNOCK ON MY DOOR
I don't ever answer the door when someone knocks on it. I blatantly ignore it.
However on two occasions in 3 years I did.
One neighbor knocked once for washing machine quarters I got really pissed cause it was two days after a surgery I had and after she knocked three separate times - I opened it and reamed her, "I HAD SURGERY! DO NOT KNOCK ON MY DOOR AGAIN. I'M IN BED!" Never had a problem again with that one.
The next neighbor who knocked on my door was a day I was home sick with a head cold. I answered the door in my robe in the dark and said that I work at a hospital and worked third shift now so please do not disturb me anymore. This was a lie. Some of these losers think I'm their best buddy cause I stop and chat with them for 5 minutes once or twice.... WTF They can't pick up the hall phone and dial first? You have to maniacally rap on my door cause you see a leak in the hallway ceiling? Why the fuck should I even care? I'm not the custodian or the custodian's wife or girlfriend or even on the condo board.
If they were to call from the hallway, that would connect them to my phone and answering machine. If I'm sick or sleeping, the answering machine is on low volume and the ringer is off. So as to not disturb me and there would be a greeting...I'm sick as a dog so leave a message and I'll call you when I wake up tomorrow morning.
So she says "Well I was worried that there was a flood upstairs from you, and I wanted to alert you. > "Well if I was at home, I'd notice wouldn't I? And if I wasn't you could have just left me a message on my phone from the hallway, and if I was out somewhere, I'd know about it quicker since my phone is forwarded to my mobile when I'm away."
So she looks at me after telling me about the leak and says, "So what's wrong with you?" Me, "I'M SICK".
Her -> Oh I'm sorry. I'll let you go back to sleep.
Me thinking DUMB ASS!
I should have said, "You interrupted my boyfriend and I having after dinner sex!"
The next dumb ass neighbor who comes rapping on my door will get the whole Jack Nicholson scene from As Good As It Gets recited to them. The one where his gay neighbor (Greg Kinnear) knocks while he's at work on his novel and interrupts him for the second time...................
Well, I work all the time. So
never, never again interrupt me.
Okay? I mean, never. Not 30
years from now... not if there's
fire. Not even if you hear a thud
from inside my home and a week
later there's a smell from in
there that can only come from a
decaying body and you have to hold
a hanky against your face because
the stench is so thick you think
you're going to faint even then
don't come knocking!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
PHONE FIRST
I'm sick of people and my neighbors expecting me to drop what I'm doing and run to the door to open it up as soon as they knock and pound and knock harder. What the fuck? Don't just come over without calling first. Cause if I'm in the bathroom with hair dye or hot oil, I'm not going to rinse off and scurry around to dry off or get dressed or interrupt a phone conversation or my instant messaging or what ever - just to entertain your bored ass! How self centered! Is it all about you? Is it too difficult to use your mobile or the hall phone to ring me first? Has humanity forgotten about common courtesy? There are very few shows I watch but I don't like to be interrupted when I do. 24, Alias and CSI. So phone first and if I don't answer, it's because I really really want to watch my show. Finish an email. Or finish my long distance conversation in private with my friend or relative.
I'm going to get a door plaque. Phone first. Oh and by the way -- When you knock and I ignore the door.....it doesn't mean KNOCK HARDER JACKASS! It means GO AWAY.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I HEAR IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN
Sunday, October 02, 2005
GOING TO EUROPE
People annoy me. When the people at work found out I was going on vacation to Europe, all I heard was bring me this and bring me that! WTF? I'm going on vacation with only two carry on bags and I get a fucking shopping list. I told them I was only taking one carry on. LOL Anyway, of course I expected this, so I didn't tell anyone except the boss I was going to Europe and told her to not tell anyone. But one week before departure she had sudden diarrhea of the mouth and told a colleague, who then told everyone. I was pissed. That's when I told everyone that I was only taking a carry on bag and that I wouldn't have room for any shit except for what I planned to get MYSELF! I never saw a bunch of uglier mugs in my life. They were all pissed off at me. "So why do you only have to take one carry on?" a couple people had the balls to ask. "Because, I have to be the one shlepping shit around up and down stairs and on the trains and buses ALONE WITHOUT ANY HELP AND IT'S TIRING". It shut them up. But they are all asses. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to shlep shit back for me. When someone asks, I'll say earrings or something as small or flat (like a scarf) as possible and only if they're asking. Not shit like books, posters, clothes, shoes and ceramics which I've been asked for.
Some people have no shame. What can I say. I was raised too prim and properly. I must really seem abby normal to these country folk.
It's just too much trouble carrying large suitcases on and off the Eurail system, coaches, airplane stairs etc. One small little lady with carry ons packed to the max full of Italian shoes and hand bags, pashminas and cool Italian sunglasses. How would I ever fit anything else in them? I ended up getting all the women a tube of some discontinued turquoise green mascara I found at a random drugstore for almost two bucks each. LOL They'll never know that's it's the Italian equivalent of Bonnie Bell. LOL LOL Well they thought it was cool and that was that. I got luke warm thanks from half of them and the other half were truly excited about it and used it right away.
Some people have no shame. What can I say. I was raised too prim and properly. I must really seem abby normal to these country folk.
It's just too much trouble carrying large suitcases on and off the Eurail system, coaches, airplane stairs etc. One small little lady with carry ons packed to the max full of Italian shoes and hand bags, pashminas and cool Italian sunglasses. How would I ever fit anything else in them? I ended up getting all the women a tube of some discontinued turquoise green mascara I found at a random drugstore for almost two bucks each. LOL They'll never know that's it's the Italian equivalent of Bonnie Bell. LOL LOL Well they thought it was cool and that was that. I got luke warm thanks from half of them and the other half were truly excited about it and used it right away.
WHY THE HELL WOULD A PERSON BUY A KID THIS?
Friday, September 02, 2005
WHERE'S YOUR HEAD AT????
Sunday, August 28, 2005
SERIOUSLY DRUNK
Seriously drunk was the day that I'll never forget. Because this was a drunk that I remember. When another company treats your office for dinner and tequila at a posh, trendy, Mexican restaurant, one usually goes. Well the food was all right enough. And as usual the pitchers of Margaritas seemed watered down. NOT!!! We didn't taste the strength of it until we hit the streets 2 1/2 hours later. Holy crap! I got home at 10 to 10 and downed a bottle of water. I crashed. About 1:15 I woke up freezing from my a/c. Turned it off and downed another bottle of water. Staggered back under blankies shivering in the fetal position and fell back asleep. WAKE UP! Feel like shit on a lilly pad, cuz I thought I was on a boat. Downed more water. Showered, put on the under eye cover up, some heavy rouge to cover up the green face. Added eyeliner and mascara and threw on jeans, clogs and a top to fly to work ASAP. Stopped at donut joint, couldn't eat but got a bottle of water. The lady bagged it and I flew to catch my train. I was feeling half way decent by now from my little bit of movement and fresh crisp early morning air, until the train started thrashing and rocking us from side to side for a good 5 minutes. Lucky for me it was an express train and the ride only about 12 to 14 minutes long. Whew! I get off still feeling like the day after a long trans Atlantic flight but since I had some quality sleep, I considered myself o.k. I walk out of the station and carefully cross the street toward the parking lot I short cut through, to the main entrance. All of a sudden my feet get heavy and I slow down. I'm feeling queasy. Oh shit! I'm gonna hurl, I think. I slow down (I'm still early by 20 minutes, I can stop and take five on the bench in the garden) I try to walk towards the garden when I know that I'm gonna hurl NOW! I sit down in between two cars parked already and take out water bottle from bag and try to hurl. Nothing. I thought Oh shit, dry heaves. I stand up and here it comes again another one. This time I hurl in the bag. Relief! I wait two minutes just in case. Nothing. I fold the bag. Stick it in the giant waste can and exit lot, pass the garden, into the main entrance. I'm in the building. I walk in my office looking green. Put my head on my desk and prayed for someone to make some coffee. 10 minutes later the other dunks walk in feeling equally as sick as me. One still staggering, another with vertigo another with the runs, and one never came in at all. I think I had the least of the ill symptoms, but I was told I was green. They need to rename tequila to "to kill yuh". 
The worst part of this story is that I went out to dinner with two of these colleagues and the mother of one of them (who works in another department) later that day. I ordered simple steak and mash, bread and butter. The mom kept wondering why we weren't having liquor. LOL "What, no wine for you girls? Not even a nice cold beer?" We just looked at each other. No, Coke's fine. If she only knew her daughter and her colleagues were hung over drunks.
Friday, August 19, 2005
JUSTICE!!!!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
FUCKING SPAM ON MY BLOG
I can not believe this. I'm getting spam on my blog!!!!!! WTF??? I just had to delete about a thousand words worth of advertisement.
I do not like spam.
I do not like it in my email. I do not like it on my faxes. I do not like it at my house, I do not like it with a mouse. I do not like my blog with SPAM!!!!!!!!
Spammers you suck - piss off - and eat shit!!!!!
NO MORE SPAM!
I do not like spam.
I do not like it in my email. I do not like it on my faxes. I do not like it at my house, I do not like it with a mouse. I do not like my blog with SPAM!!!!!!!!
Spammers you suck - piss off - and eat shit!!!!!
NO MORE SPAM!
Sunday, August 07, 2005
MR BEAR LOOKS PISSED OFF
WHEN CLOWNS GO BAD
Sunday, July 17, 2005
ENDURING CHEAP ASSES WAY TOO OFTEN
Another annoying dining experience in the big city. Every few months I have to endure the torture of dining with a former country bumpkin. We'll end up at a posh French or Italian restaurant and when the bill comes, one of our two (born in Ireland) pals, just can't let go of their fucking money to give a proper tip to the waiter/waitress. Good God, why oh why are some people soooo anal about this? In North America and Canada this is how we do things!!!!!!!!! Get over it or don't come with. One poor friend ended up putting in three bucks over and me two bucks over what our dinners, tax and 20% tip cost because one cheap ass didn't want to give a proper tip. She was actually giving 10%. (THIS ISN'T AN IRISH PUB!!! HELLO) I know it's unconceivable for some, to tip 20% but at an expensive French restaurant with froi gras on the menu you do! It's just proper. If you don't agree with it and you can't part with your dollars DON'T GO TO THESE PLACES! Stay in your Olive Garden & Chilli's world. Then when she snatched our singles out of our hands to put in the check holder, she let out a grunt of disgust by humpfing at us and rolling her eyes. I said to her in a low voice, "you know, when you're in a posh restaurant in a big metropolitan city, we just give a slightly higher tip". I then showed her my wallet tip card which actually showed two columns of tip amounts. 15% & 20%. I said, "20% is for expensive restaurants". She just walked away from me giving me a dirty look. No one heard me tell her this. Was I wrong for enlightening a friend of a friend who I've actually seen a few times?
USE TIP TABLES AND YOU CAN BUY TAX TABLES NOW TOO, IF THIS IS FOREIGN TO ANY OF YOU.
USE TIP TABLES AND YOU CAN BUY TAX TABLES NOW TOO, IF THIS IS FOREIGN TO ANY OF YOU.
WHAT A DUMB ASS
By The Associated Press Sat Jul 16, 8:24 PM ET
DALY CITY, Calif. - Victor Edward Willis, the original policeman in the 1970s music group the Village People, was arrested by real police who allegedly found a gun and drugs in his convertible.
Willis, who co-wrote disco hits such as "Macho Man" and "In the Navy" before leaving the Village People in the late 1970s, was taken into custody Monday after an officer stopped his Chevrolet Corvette.
Police said Willis didn't have a valid license or identification and at first lied about his name and residence. Inside the car, the officer found a .45-caliber handgun as well as rock cocaine and drug paraphernalia, police said.
Traces of cocaine and other paraphernalia were also found his home at a mobile home park in Daly City, just south of San Francisco, police said. Willis also had an outstanding felony warrant for possession of narcotics.
Police arrested him on suspicion of six felony counts, including possession of a firearm, driving on a suspended license and transportation of cocaine. He posted $100,000 bail Tuesday and was to be arraigned Aug. 16.
Saturday, June 11, 2005
SOME THRIFTY PEOPLE ARE CLUELESS & THOUGHTLESS
Why do some penny pinchers have to be so clueless and thoughtless? There has to come a time in ones life where they don't expect their friends pushing 40, or are in their 40's and 50's to help them move. Move as in change apartments. Go up and down a gazillion stairs with heavy boxes and furniture. WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why be so cheap? Why don't you hire movers? Sure it's expensive, but why should I fucking rupture my spleen for you? Every time someone I know moves, I tell them the name of a moving company in their area. I actually look for one who's bonded and insured and give them the numbers. For the last 10 years it's a big fat NO from me. I'm too old and too tired for this shit anymore. If a person had any respect and regard for their friends they wouldn't ask them to do this shit. It's one thing if it's from front door to car and just boxes, but the whole up and down stairs with heavy boxes and furniture is the thing that puts me off.
